A Letter From Elena’s Mom

Our daughter, Elena, was diagnosed in May, 1997, with a brainstem glioma. In other words, she had a cancerous tumor growing inside her brain. Our family was packing to go on vacation for Memorial Day to Hawaii. Our lives instantly changed when the doctor told us, “You will have to cancel your trip and begin immediate treatment. Most children with this type of tumor do not live longer than 9 months. You may be able to extend this to a year if you begin treatment immediately.”

My husband and I had worked in the medical field for many years, and we had never even seen a child with a brain tumor. I did not believe this was happening. I remember my world falling apart. I remember it vividly. I thought, “How could this beautiful girl, about to celebrate her 4th birthday, be dying? I was 5 months pregnant with my son. We were supposed to be celebrating this wonderful birth. How could this be happening?”

My husband and I could not accept this death sentence. We had a very successful business, and life with our daughter was wonderful. I had to stop working to care for Elena and everything changed. We could no longer support the needs of our business, and eventually had to shut down. We were fortunate to have the support of family and enough financial support to continue to live during this very trying time. I often wondered what we would have done if we were not so fortunate.

Elena was a very courageous soul. Most parents describe their children with such pride and speak as if they are the most special of all children. Those who were privileged to meet her, know of her fight and her unique way of approaching the world. Even when her illness had stripped her of her voice and all bodily movement except that of her head and left arm, she managed to live a full life. She taught me much about life and courage. Through her Foundation, I hope to share a piece of her soul with you, and give you a glance into a courage so powerful that even hearing the story brings strength to all who venture to learn of her life.

Throughout the time of her illness, her death and then life afterward, the feelings and pains were overwhelming. Coping with such tragedy, as my husband Jim says, is a parent’s own holocaust. There are no answers, and so many questions. Our lives took many turns, and had many surprises. Now, after much healing, it became clear what was necessary to do. We must share the lessons learned with others who struggle with the same pain.

I chose to write this painful story in book form. The book teaches us that laughter is, indeed, a very powerful medicine, and through tragedy much is born. Our mission now is to provide families or individuals dealing with a terminal diagnosis or catastrophic illness, resources to provide any form of assistance that may be of help. It is often enough to know that someone, somewhere, had survived the illness or loss of a child, at a time when they feel as though their world is ending and life cannot possibly go on.

The Elena Tresh Foundation, Inc., has also been established to help siblings of dying or sick children with the support necessary to overcome such a tragedy. Our son, Alessandro, was born into tragedy, and suffered greatly as a result of the turmoil around him. During such a time, it is often an impossible task to provide support and attention to other children in the home. Holidays and birthdays are often a burden to parents who are trying to deal with the emotions that accompany a sick child. Being able to laugh, or provide entertainment to siblings is an unbearable task. It is our hope that we can relieve some parents of these types of stressors, through sibling support services. As we continue to expand our services, this will be a great area of emphasis.

Elena was always worried about children who were dying from illness or poverty around the world. I am inspired as I read about individuals who strive to end world hunger. Although we are just one organization, it is my hope that we can contribute to the causes my daughter brought to our attention so regularly.

In closing, if we can help one family learn from our tragedy, provide one family with financial assistance, teach one brother or sister that it is ok to laugh or to play when their parents are so sad or worried, feed one hungry child, subsidize one child’s medical care or listen to one parent cry, then Elena’s wishes will have been carried out.

Please read on to know of this incredible child, and please support the causes we are diligently working to provide. I am honored to have been chosen to be her mother for the short time she had on this Earth. I am also honored to share her with those who are inspired to help this mission.



With Sincere Good Wishes,

Jennifer Tresh